As leader of the Writers Group at Chicago’s Union League Club, I send a monthly online newsletter to its members. The email reviews each month’s meeting and always ends with writer’s prompts, designed to inspire members’ written contributions to our meetings. For the past few months, I have sent just a few silly-sounding or just plain odd English words and their definitions as prompts. This month’s words inspired my own silly mini-story based on an invented definition of each word. Below please find that story and following, the true definition of each word.

[BTW, don’t forget to order your own copy of my latest illustrated book, Of Birds and Words, available by order at your favorite bookstore or on https://www.amazon.com/Birds-Words-Poems-Fables-Marcus/dp/1732143471/ref.]

Here’s the story: “Ferrules-Shmerrules”

Zarf wasn’t one to break the rules, but the Authorities had gone too far this time. This morning, just as the second Star in all its purple glory rose again—in time for a second breakfast, thank the Star—the Authorities, or the ‘Rites as many called them, administered the Ferrules, a set of laws designed to put a punt in the everyday joys of living on planet Zoocatron.

Grumbling as he read the news, Zarf nodded to his life mate, Farz, who waddled in with a sheaf of greens dripping from her beak. “A fine morning’s catch, dear,” she said. “Why, whatever is wrong? You’re grumbling.”

Zarf looked at her, first one eye, and then the other two below. “New laws called ferrules. Not ‘fair’ if you ask me.”

“I didn’t ask.”

“Well, you should’ve. Anyway, no more greens-snatching after the second Star rising. How’re we supposed to manage our second breakfast?”

“Oh, not to worry. We have plenty in storage, easy to revive in the kitchen adapter.”

“The Ferrules also said no adapting after the second Star rising.”

“No problem. I’ll double our first batch. Why are the ‘Rites enforcing these Ferrules?”

“They say the Star is not filling the Energy Catchers. They want us to cut back on greens and on energy.”

“We’ll adapt. We always have. Anyway, eat your aglet and find something more amusing to read. Ferrules-shmerrules.”

• Aglet–The small plastic or metal tip at the end of a shoelace is called an aglet. Its job is simple but important: it keeps the lace from fraying and makes it easier to thread through the eyelets of your shoes. Without aglets, tying your sneakers would be a far more frustrating experience.
• Ferrule–The metal band that holds the eraser onto the end of a pencil is called a ferrule. Ferrules are also found on paintbrushes, where they hold the bristles in place. The word comes from an old term meaning a small bracelet or band, which makes sense once you notice its shape.
• Zarf–That cardboard sleeve around a hot takeaway coffee cup has the name zarf. Traditionally, a zarf was an ornamental holder for a hot cup, often used in Middle Eastern coffee culture. Today, the disposable cardboard version protects your fingers from heat while making you sound very knowledgeable.
• Punt–The deep indentation at the bottom of many wine bottles is called a punt. People often assume it has something to do with quality, but its purpose has varied over time. It can strengthen the bottle, help collect sediment, and make bottles easier to stack or pour from.